Oh, Anger, Go Away

Anger is a frustrating emotion that not only damages the recipient it incapacitates the initiator. It is the ultimate cover up. It hides the sadness or pain someone may be feeling by coming out as an attack instead of a cry for help. It dismisses the tiredness, stress and anxiety of recent days, weeks, months or years with a loud voice that really needs quiet and rest. It often lashes out at the people that could bring the most love and care to ease the angered's woes. 

Oh, anger, go away. Let's be honest with one another and seek shelter in each other's love instead of hiding behind our anger.

Try peace.

Try rest.

Try forgiveness.

Try quiet.

Try kindness.

Try love.

Feel better.

With love and light,

LT

New Light

I love learning. Since childhood, I have loved exploring, whether in a museum, a library or the yard. I love listening. I love hearing new perspectives, stories and music. I’m thankful that every time I hear or see something, whether it’s been around for years, there is always something new to discover. I think this is one of the reasons I am so drawn to liturgical seasons and celebrations. There is always so much more to learn. The readings follow a cycle that allows us to revisit them time and time again.

This Sunday, the second Sunday in Advent, the Gospel was of John’s voice calling to us from the wilderness in Luke 3:1-6. For many years, I’ve heard the different versions of John’s ministry. I know this was certainly not the first time I’ve read Luke’s version, but it was the first time in my now many years that I realized what the repetition of the prophet Isaiah’s words were asking of me. Here’s verses 3:3-6.

3 He went into all the region around the Jordan, proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins, 4 as it is written in the book of the words of the prophet Isaiah,

“The voice of one crying out in the wilderness:

‘Prepare the way of the Lord,

    make his paths straight.

5 

Every valley shall be filled,

    and every mountain and hill shall be made low,

and the crooked shall be made straight,

    and the rough ways made smooth;

6 

and all flesh shall see the salvation of God.’”

I’ve always read this as Jesus would be the one filling the valleys, making the mountains low and those crooked paths straight once He arrived. This year, it finally dawned on me that John was not telling us what Jesus would do but was instead calling us to prepare the way for Jesus in our own lives. We are being asked to fill those valleys, to level all those hills and mountains and no matter how hard it may be to straighten our paths and make the rough ways smooth.

I’m so glad I was surrounded by friends when I came to this realization, friends who empathize with me in how hard these statements are to fulfill. Our eyes, ears and hearts were all open to this old yet new idea. How wonderful again to have such a lovely reminder that within the challenges of life there is a great gift awaiting us in our efforts to keep straight the path and to recognize life’s highs and lows by staying balanced. I am grateful for the new light shed on this reading and yet another opportunity to feel God’s redeeming grace. I hope you find comfort and joy this Advent, too, and time and time again. I know the road gets crooked sometimes; just remember, there will always be a voice in the wilderness crying out to you.

With love and light,

LT

Three Little Monkeys

I’ve noticed as of late how disturbing and loud the negative voices have been made around me through social media, television and other news outlets. I’m shocked by the unkindness and anger being shown. The lack of respect being given for differences of opinions. The violence being taken in the name of one religion or another. It is a heavy overwhelming feeling.

As a video image popped upon my computer screen today of a man yelling at another and egged on by supporters as the insulted man hung his head at a loss, an image from childhood popped into my head: monkeys, three of them.

When I was a little girl, I loved visiting my nana and granddaddy’s home in Dumas, Arkansas. It had all kinds of nooks and crannies, rooms and levels for exploring and fascinating furniture and décor. It was so very different from my own home, I didn’t want to miss anything so I spent hours taking it all in. I walked in circles around the place, got on my hands and knees to look under things and climbed into boxes and furniture to get a better view. During one such roll about on the green shag carpet in my nana and granddaddy’s television room, I noticed a curious statue in between the levels of the heavy wooden octagon coffee table. It was a greenish brass color and depicted three monkeys in a row. One monkey had its hands over its ears, the next monkey had its hands over its eyes and the next monkey had its hands over its mouth.

Not daring to move the monkeys or to disturb my grandparents’ show, I stared at it intently. Days ticked by during my trip to Dumas, and I kept returning to this interesting little statue. One afternoon, while my granddaddy read the newspaper, I finally asked him about the little monkeys. He lowered his paper, cocked his head to the side and adjusted his glasses to get a better look and said, “Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil.” The sun was streaming through the windows that lined each wall of the room. The light next to my granddaddy lit both the paper and him up. My heart beat a little faster. He went back to reading.

As much as Advent is considered an anticipatory season of hope, it is also a time of penitence and reflection. As of late, I’ve found myself wishing my heart and mind were a little more centered. I’ve found myself a little uncomfortable with my own thoughts and wondering how or why I’ve said and done or not done certain things. I’ve been pondering all of this in my heart and considered what I can do to make a change.

I find myself wanting to remember the words of my grandfather and the wisdom of those three little monkeys. I don’t want to give power to evil by hearing, seeing or speaking it. I know I can do better and will feel better for it.

Hear No Evil

See No Evil

Speak No Evil

With love and light,

LT

Light Over Darkness

Just when you think times can’t get darker, in comes the season of light. When your mind has turned all night, the sun begins to rise. It’s another day. You don’t know what direction to turn and suddenly a kind word of wisdom points the way.

Today marked the first day of Advent leading to the celebration of Christmas. Candles were lit around the world encouraging thoughtful and prayerful opening of hearts and minds to the way that love can change the world. I can’t think of better timing!

I certainly could use Advent and its wonderful time for reflection and preparation and its powerful reminders of comfort and joy to be found in the story of a child born in a manger and his short time among us on Earth.

Jesus said, “There will be signs in the sun, the moon, and the stars, and on the earth distress among nations confused by the roaring of the sea and the waves. People will faint from fear and foreboding of what is coming upon the world, for the powers of the heavens will be shaken. Then they will see ‘the Son of Man coming in a cloud’ with power and great glory. Now when these things begin to take place, stand up and raise your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.”  (Luke 21:25-28)

What a lovely invitation continues to be extended to us year after year. We may have to wait for Christmas Day, but we never have to wait for its gift to us. We don’t have to wait for a special day, for a year, for an hour or even another minute. We just have to be willing to accept the invitation for a better life, a life of light.

“Almighty God, give us grace to cast away the works of darkness, and put on the armor of light, now in the time of this mortal life in which your Son Jesus Christ came to visit us in great humility...” (From A Collect for the First Sunday of Advent, Book of Common Prayer, pg. 211)

Take comfort in the fact that darkness, no matter how dark it may be, will never win against the light. Take it into your heart and feel its strength and share it with others. With light and love you can change your world and the world of others for better.  

As we enter Advent, I am reminded of the other wonderful celebrations of light from around the world, especially our Hindu friends who just celebrated Diwali. A wonderful five-day festival, Diwali celebrates the victory of good over evil, knowledge over ignorance and light over darkness. Our Jewish friends celebration of Hanukkah begins soon as well, reminding us that there will always be enough oil to light the sacred lamp.

We have everything we need, my friends. Take a look at what may be keeping you in the dark and do what you need to do to let the light show you the way. Listen to those loving words of kindness from friends and family. Find the support of community. Read, pray, meditate, exercise, rest. Take time for yourself and do more for others. Make room for the light; it will give you life.

With love and light,

LT

To Be An Individual

My life’s work has been dedicated to empowering the individual. I want to make the unseen seen. I want each person to feel celebrated for who they are. I want them to recognize the light within them and to share it.

Today I listened to a speech about how our society’s emphasis on the individual has led to our now lack of community. Excuse me, but I call, well…I disagree.

To be recognized as an individual does not mean to separate oneself from society; it means to be honored by it.

Let me ask you, if you were celebrated for your unique personality and gifts by those around you, if they enjoyed hearing your life story, the history of your family, your beliefs…if they supported you in your challenges while kindly encouraging you to consider different perspectives, would this make you want to separate yourself from others or might this make you feel more connected to them? I’m going to guess the later.

Being recognized for all that makes you an individual does not automatically separate you. In fact, being honored as an individual naturally builds respect and empathy towards others. Believe me, having finally been recognized for all my gifts and talents and the unique me has given me a greater connection with the world around me, and I witness this same freedom in the young people I serve everyday.

Give each other a chance. Ask someone his or her story, listen and then share yours. The stories will be different. Not a single human being on this planet is the same. Not one. So stop worrying. We don’t have to worry about being the same. That is not where comfort is to be found.

Our comfort is to be found in the love and respect we share towards one another. The more we shine light and celebrate our uniqueness, the closer we come to one another and to God’s hope for us.

To be sure, there have been individuals in our history and present that test this theory. Here is the key difference and what distinguished them: they were not empathizers. They sought to destroy other individuals. That is not the way. Look to history again and the present to find the real answer. Look to those who seek to build others up not to tear them down. By building each other up, we will build community.

I promise, there is plenty to find in common. Whether you have a shared story or not, there will be a way to connect. With an open heart it would be impossible not to.

With love and light,

LT

Bad Day, Sweet Dreams

I went to bed with a smile on my face, but people, let me tell you, it took some effort!

I love my job. It allows me to easily go to work with my children and even sneak a hug at lunchtime most days. Believe me; I don’t take this incredible blessing for granted.

There are sometimes I get stretched thin. I’ve always been a give-110% kind of person. I don’t half do anything, which can be exhausting. Trying to be 110% at work, 110% wife and 110% mom, plus the other 110%’s I try…those numbers don’t really add up. I keep trying until I can barely see straight.

If I’m being honest, because doing a good job at work makes me feel like I’m making a difference in the lives of others including the life I provide for my husband and children, it often dominates my thoughts. It must be done well and meet my expectations of excellence. This includes the encouragement and empowerment of the team that reports to me. If productivity is disrupted, it weighs on me heavily.

So suddenly, I don’t sleep at night. Free time seems non-existent.

I pray. I always pray. But there have been times as of late that my prayers have seemed hollow. I don’t seem to be connecting with the right prayers to open myself up to the assistance I know I need. Each morning, among other prayers, I thank God for another opportunity to try again and ask for help acknowledging that I cannot do it without God’s help. I pray this and trudge on not truly opening myself and clearing my mind and heart for true help.

Yesterday I had had it. It felt like every other hour was another slap in the face. By the end of the day I was done. I was frustrated. I missed the time I had given up with my family, but I was too angry with the stress of the day to be able to even give quality time to them, which added to the frustration. So, I grit my teeth and worked to be as good as I possibly could to the people around me. This of course was not anywhere close to 110% but at least I was functioning. Everyone ate, everyone got their baths, everyone did their homework, teeth were brushed and stories were even read. Good night kisses were given and suddenly the house was quiet. I jumped in the bath.

By the time I was dry and in pjs, I realized the whole house was quiet. Andrew had even hit the sack. I knew I wasn’t ready. I needed something; I needed the quiet.

I read.

I watched a movie.

I gave myself some time. Uninterrupted time.

Thank God!

There I was. In my house and ok. My sweet babies were asleep upstairs. I gently checked on them and kissed them a second goodnight. As I slid into bed so as not to wake up Andrew, I curled up and began to dream. A smile came to my lips. Never have I had such delicious memories tell stories one after another in my mind. If this is what meditation allows, oh dear God, I hope I can do it again.

I met Andrew. There we were at the Grove again. I knew everything would be ok. The sun was shining.

Sweet baby Abby. She’s wearing the pink argyle dress and meeting all of Nannie’s friends for the first time. She is asleep in Miss Kathy’s lap.

Oh, William, “What an Ice Guy” you are showing off those baby toes and grinning in the Christmas lights.

We’re walking on a bright fall morning. Pushing up the hill to the playground. Giggles abound, and we all ignore the static on the slide. Round and round we go.

The memories kept coming; these were only a few.

I can’t remember when I drifted to sleep, but I do know there was a smile on my face. It never stopped.

Dear God, I thank you for always leading me back. I know you realize I mean well and that I just don’t always get it right. Thank you for helping me find a way to make it all right again so I can be better for you and yours.

With love and light,

LT

Shaped by Childhood

Link to Amazon.com

It’s my mother’s birthday, and I have childhood on the brain. With 7 and 9 year olds on my hands, you might not find this surprising. Additionally, I work in the admission office of a school and am surrounded by children on a daily basis.

I haven’t been able to escape the thought lately that I learned everything I need to know as a child. When I turned 16, my godmother gave me a book entitled “Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.” I thought the book entertaining at the time, but as I now watch generations of children transition to adulthood I am taking it more and more seriously. Now experts around the world have published document after document about the importance of childhood development not only for the individual but also for the success of communities at large.

I can look fondly on my childhood. In fact, the ugliness that has come along with adulthood has been softened or dismissed by falling back on lessons learned as a young person supported by loving parents and a caring community of friends and positive mentors.

There, of course, have been some nuances I’ve gathered over the years about how to diplomatically and energetically manage various situations I’ve approached in adulthood. If I am honest though, everything I am today can be traced back to childhood. I was treated with great kindness. When I made mistakes, I was carefully and lovingly redirected. This does not mean my mistakes were without punishment, but within them, I was allowed to correct myself and grow from the experience. I was told no aplenty, but I was never in need. 

I was given the opportunity to pursue my passions. If it was positive, my parents encouraged it. I may not have always had individualized attention in the classroom, but I knew I was safe and had access too much. I was taken to church regularly and felt comfortable in seeking help from God. My friends were close, supportive, and we shared interests that kept us out of trouble (most of it). Not all the girls and boys were nice, but at least one friend could always be counted on. 

We danced. We played tennis and dress up and climbed trees. We loved our siblings (and yelled at them sometimes, too; this still makes me feel guilty). We had pets that showered us with love, and we took joy in loving them back. Trips outside of town were a special treat. We were encouraged to take notice of different cities, museums, music and the beauty in nature. Being near water, whether an ocean, lake or sprinkler, brought great happiness.

All of this I can call back on. All of this can bring light to the darkness. All of these memories, this foundation, help me find the right direction.

I can hope that your foundation was as strong as mine. But I do know, for so many, this was not a similar experience. Childhood was not what it could have been. Innocence and hope were lost.

I am so sorry for this.

I can see now the sad children in the sad adults, the angry adults who as children were yelled at or ignored or worse. I can’t change their childhoods, but I can make room for their sadness. I can take a deep breath, and I can pray love upon them. I can also work hard not to cast judgment. 

I can also try my best to support the children of today. What can I give them so that they might have a glimpse of all that is possible? What strength can I build in them now that will last a lifetime?

If you’re wrestling with questions about today’s society and what can be done, or if you’re feeling a new calling, please do a search for what’s happening in your local community to support children? 

If our adult lives are ultimately shaped by our childhoods, shouldn’t we start as early as possible in helping others? 

It could be helping to establish or to help in a preschool. Babysitting for a neighbor and helping his or her child learn to read or just being kind to him or her. What about tutoring a lower school or middle school student? What about serving as a Sunday school teacher or looking into a mentoring program? Monetary support towards these programs is always helpful, but you might be ready to make a connection with a young person that needs just you!

Teachers, I encourage and salute you! Love on! Mentors, thank you! Give on! Neighbors, yes, keep watch and be supportive! Parents, you are so very important! Take a deep breath and let in the strength and peace of God. Enjoy your children and give them a strong foundation! Friends, Jesus encouraged the little children to come to him; let’s clear the way and protect their precious, innocent, creative and enthusiastic hearts!

Hope can abound! Love can abound! Let’s give these kids a chance. I thank God everyday that I had one.

Please, dear Lord, give me the strength to give my children hearts full of love and light to carry them through this lifetime. Give us all the power to grant peace and love to the many who have missed this opportunity in the past. Help us lift them up to a place of peace so that they can recognize the love and light that truly surrounds them. And for every child in our lives, whether we know their names or not, help us make a positive difference in their lives. Help them to know that they are loved and that they are full of light.

I ask your grace be upon the adults of this world who were never shown kindness as a child. Please let love be shown them in such a way that their hearts may be so mended and encouraged.

I thank you so much for the love and light shown to me as a child. I am grateful for the foundation.

With love and light,

LT