Scavenger Hunt for Joy

My birthday was in March. When it came around, my children came up with a wonderful adventure present. They wished to go with me to a museum. It was such a lovely idea and one I was so pleased to realize they had thought of themselves. We had never been to an art museum together, and I do love a good walk through an art museum. Sadly, time got away from us, and we had to put off our plans for another day.

Determined, the children nor I gave up on the idea, and this summer I took some time off to bring our plan to fruition. We planned a special week of activities in Memphis, and one included a trip to the Brooks.

When we arrived on our designated Wednesday morning, we were delighted to find that the entire day was dedicated to children’s exploration of the museum. A special art deco popsicle project had been planned, and a scavenger hunt throughout the museum designed. It was a wonderful, wonderful morning. The scavenger hunt kept the children engaged throughout our entire visit, and we managed to visit every single gallery.

This certainly will be a memory that stays with me, but there is a stand out moment that continues to come back to me quite regularly. After studying an inlaid desk featured in the red gallery and making faces at one another in the concave mirror featured above it, we rounded the corner to the next gallery. Suddenly, I was winded by the sight of the enormous oil painting in our path. Time stopped, my heart raced, my eyes zoomed in to the piece of work, and I had to grab my children by their shoulders to steady myself. Truly in front of us stood a portrait of heaven. There were angels turned towards one another smiling in delight as they all acknowledged a bright light coming from the darkness below. While their heavenly colors were in happy shades of blue, pink, peach, and purple of the sunrise or sunset, they looked through the clouds down towards a pure darkness. What they saw brought them unbounded joy. A great light was breaking through the darkness and reaching towards heaven. “Aha,” they seemed to say, “See there she is…there he is…breaking through the darkness and shedding light in the world. We knew she could. We knew he could. How wonderful. How wonderful indeed.”

My children were ready to go on to the next scavenger hunt item and didn’t recognize my pause. Once words could come to me though I managed to hold my babies close and say, “Oh, look children, isn’t it beautiful. Someone has captured the joy of heaven when we share love and light in the world.” I gazed lovingly at the painting, and my children humored me. Then we were off again.

Love bursts of light in our hearts are powerful but can seem fleeting as well as daunting to act upon. It is hard to stay in that moment for long, but the love lingers. The light reminds us, it is more powerful than darkness and needs only be turned on or shown the way. 

This painting, this moment still shines a path for me through the darkness. May it be the love and light you need today, too.

With love and light,

LT

Love in Death

I’ll never forget the moment as a child when I realized my parents could die. I thought my heart would wrench itself from my rib cage. I couldn’t breathe. I was devastated. When I could no longer stand the night’s darkness and sadness alone, I ran down the hallway on my bare feet, and my parents wrapped their loving arms around me as I wept.

Tonight for my William and Abby, the trigger came surprisingly from the last chapter of a story we thought we knew well. We were all curled up throughout Abby’s room with special lovies, blankets, and pillows, as I read through the last pages. A few sentences caught me off guard myself, but I didn’t realize the depths of my children’s hearts they were reaching. Sweet loving babes.

William was the first. His face hidden in his pillow, he wept for his granddad and gripped the stuffed lion with the heart on its paw, the last gift from a sweet man who loved Valentine’s Day. Abby quickly followed. My steady Abby suddenly appeared downstairs. One minute she was thinking of puffy pink unicorns and the next she was unexplainably scared.

Their daddy hugged them, and I spoke gently, stroking their brows and holding them on my lap.

Our hearts with their great capacity to love can hurt so when that love feels lost, but we must remember that one of God’s greatest gifts is that death does not take that love away. It enables us to be with that love always. For if God who is always with us is love, and we love our loved ones so, then even when they go to be with God they are with us always in God’s love. We are so blessed to have the time to build many, many memories to carry with us in our hearts so that when we do feel that hurt our memories will remind us of our love and comfort us.

Death is not easy, but in it God’s greatest gift of love is revealed in its rawest form. Jesus reminds us of this.

Dear children, I love you so. Hurting does happen, but love does heal. May you find comfort in the love of your mommy and daddy, your grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, and each other. You are surrounded by our love and God’s, always. Your hearts are so big. I love the way you love and care.

With love and light,

LT

Shaped by Childhood

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It’s my mother’s birthday, and I have childhood on the brain. With 7 and 9 year olds on my hands, you might not find this surprising. Additionally, I work in the admission office of a school and am surrounded by children on a daily basis.

I haven’t been able to escape the thought lately that I learned everything I need to know as a child. When I turned 16, my godmother gave me a book entitled “Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.” I thought the book entertaining at the time, but as I now watch generations of children transition to adulthood I am taking it more and more seriously. Now experts around the world have published document after document about the importance of childhood development not only for the individual but also for the success of communities at large.

I can look fondly on my childhood. In fact, the ugliness that has come along with adulthood has been softened or dismissed by falling back on lessons learned as a young person supported by loving parents and a caring community of friends and positive mentors.

There, of course, have been some nuances I’ve gathered over the years about how to diplomatically and energetically manage various situations I’ve approached in adulthood. If I am honest though, everything I am today can be traced back to childhood. I was treated with great kindness. When I made mistakes, I was carefully and lovingly redirected. This does not mean my mistakes were without punishment, but within them, I was allowed to correct myself and grow from the experience. I was told no aplenty, but I was never in need. 

I was given the opportunity to pursue my passions. If it was positive, my parents encouraged it. I may not have always had individualized attention in the classroom, but I knew I was safe and had access too much. I was taken to church regularly and felt comfortable in seeking help from God. My friends were close, supportive, and we shared interests that kept us out of trouble (most of it). Not all the girls and boys were nice, but at least one friend could always be counted on. 

We danced. We played tennis and dress up and climbed trees. We loved our siblings (and yelled at them sometimes, too; this still makes me feel guilty). We had pets that showered us with love, and we took joy in loving them back. Trips outside of town were a special treat. We were encouraged to take notice of different cities, museums, music and the beauty in nature. Being near water, whether an ocean, lake or sprinkler, brought great happiness.

All of this I can call back on. All of this can bring light to the darkness. All of these memories, this foundation, help me find the right direction.

I can hope that your foundation was as strong as mine. But I do know, for so many, this was not a similar experience. Childhood was not what it could have been. Innocence and hope were lost.

I am so sorry for this.

I can see now the sad children in the sad adults, the angry adults who as children were yelled at or ignored or worse. I can’t change their childhoods, but I can make room for their sadness. I can take a deep breath, and I can pray love upon them. I can also work hard not to cast judgment. 

I can also try my best to support the children of today. What can I give them so that they might have a glimpse of all that is possible? What strength can I build in them now that will last a lifetime?

If you’re wrestling with questions about today’s society and what can be done, or if you’re feeling a new calling, please do a search for what’s happening in your local community to support children? 

If our adult lives are ultimately shaped by our childhoods, shouldn’t we start as early as possible in helping others? 

It could be helping to establish or to help in a preschool. Babysitting for a neighbor and helping his or her child learn to read or just being kind to him or her. What about tutoring a lower school or middle school student? What about serving as a Sunday school teacher or looking into a mentoring program? Monetary support towards these programs is always helpful, but you might be ready to make a connection with a young person that needs just you!

Teachers, I encourage and salute you! Love on! Mentors, thank you! Give on! Neighbors, yes, keep watch and be supportive! Parents, you are so very important! Take a deep breath and let in the strength and peace of God. Enjoy your children and give them a strong foundation! Friends, Jesus encouraged the little children to come to him; let’s clear the way and protect their precious, innocent, creative and enthusiastic hearts!

Hope can abound! Love can abound! Let’s give these kids a chance. I thank God everyday that I had one.

Please, dear Lord, give me the strength to give my children hearts full of love and light to carry them through this lifetime. Give us all the power to grant peace and love to the many who have missed this opportunity in the past. Help us lift them up to a place of peace so that they can recognize the love and light that truly surrounds them. And for every child in our lives, whether we know their names or not, help us make a positive difference in their lives. Help them to know that they are loved and that they are full of light.

I ask your grace be upon the adults of this world who were never shown kindness as a child. Please let love be shown them in such a way that their hearts may be so mended and encouraged.

I thank you so much for the love and light shown to me as a child. I am grateful for the foundation.

With love and light,

LT

Sick and Happy

So for the past three weeks, I’ve had some sort of bug. It started as a cold and then turned into bronchitis, which knocked me off my feet for several days. To say the least, it has been frustrating. I’ve missed what normalcy can be expected in my day-to-day life. I’ve missed not being able to think straight because I just don’t have the brain power. I’ve missed not being able to help my children, especially reading them stories. I’ve missed conversations. I’ve missed being with people. I’ve missed my job and the people I work with. I’ve missed feeling useful. It’s been a bit of a downer to be honest.

But here are some things that have kept me positive while I’ve been sick…

I’ve loved listening to my husband and children giggle together and hearing them ask him for something first before they ask me. It makes me feel good about the solidarity of their relationships.

I’m proud of my team at work. I was incapable of helping them. They pulled together and made magic happen. It makes me happy that this week brought them greater self-confidence and reaffirmation of what they are doing.

I finished reading Ann Patchett’s collection of short stories and essays entitled “This is the Story of Happy Marriage.” If you relish in good writing, I highly recommend this compilation to you. It also reminds me how thankful I am for the circle of friends who I read and discuss books with regularly. Although I can’t be with them as often as I would like, their presence in my life brings me comfort and solidarity.

I was reminded how much I miss my small group ministry of bible study and the strength I gain from going to church every Sunday. These two disciplines are key to helping me stay centered. Thank God that Calvary Episcopal Church posts their sermons online every week for those of us unable to make it to services. And I know my Thursday Theological Thinkers were praying for me, which helped me feel less lonely during my illness. One kind friend even brought me soup, which warmed my heart immensely. (My little Abby was quick to point out that this same friend brought us fresh baked bread as well.)

I got texts and e-mails from people who knew I was sick and those who didn’t. Each were sweet reminders of how connected I am in a greater web of caring that goes beyond my own understanding.

My point being made here is that no matter how down one may feel there are so many rays of light that shine through those cloudy moments to try and warm our hearts and heal us. My little Abby is curled up next to me and has just read aloud this blog to me. She smells good, fresh from the bath. Her little giggle lights up my heart. Earlier her little brother William sat with me, just as close, while I read. His hand was on my elbow and his little foot was resting on mine. I smiled and sighed with relief. I know I’m loved. I think I’ll mend.

I wish you all wellness and happiness. Please know that you are loved, too. The signs are closer than you think. Try to open all of your senses and welcome in the light. Looking forward to writing again to you soon.

With love and light,

LT