Sick and Happy

So for the past three weeks, I’ve had some sort of bug. It started as a cold and then turned into bronchitis, which knocked me off my feet for several days. To say the least, it has been frustrating. I’ve missed what normalcy can be expected in my day-to-day life. I’ve missed not being able to think straight because I just don’t have the brain power. I’ve missed not being able to help my children, especially reading them stories. I’ve missed conversations. I’ve missed being with people. I’ve missed my job and the people I work with. I’ve missed feeling useful. It’s been a bit of a downer to be honest.

But here are some things that have kept me positive while I’ve been sick…

I’ve loved listening to my husband and children giggle together and hearing them ask him for something first before they ask me. It makes me feel good about the solidarity of their relationships.

I’m proud of my team at work. I was incapable of helping them. They pulled together and made magic happen. It makes me happy that this week brought them greater self-confidence and reaffirmation of what they are doing.

I finished reading Ann Patchett’s collection of short stories and essays entitled “This is the Story of Happy Marriage.” If you relish in good writing, I highly recommend this compilation to you. It also reminds me how thankful I am for the circle of friends who I read and discuss books with regularly. Although I can’t be with them as often as I would like, their presence in my life brings me comfort and solidarity.

I was reminded how much I miss my small group ministry of bible study and the strength I gain from going to church every Sunday. These two disciplines are key to helping me stay centered. Thank God that Calvary Episcopal Church posts their sermons online every week for those of us unable to make it to services. And I know my Thursday Theological Thinkers were praying for me, which helped me feel less lonely during my illness. One kind friend even brought me soup, which warmed my heart immensely. (My little Abby was quick to point out that this same friend brought us fresh baked bread as well.)

I got texts and e-mails from people who knew I was sick and those who didn’t. Each were sweet reminders of how connected I am in a greater web of caring that goes beyond my own understanding.

My point being made here is that no matter how down one may feel there are so many rays of light that shine through those cloudy moments to try and warm our hearts and heal us. My little Abby is curled up next to me and has just read aloud this blog to me. She smells good, fresh from the bath. Her little giggle lights up my heart. Earlier her little brother William sat with me, just as close, while I read. His hand was on my elbow and his little foot was resting on mine. I smiled and sighed with relief. I know I’m loved. I think I’ll mend.

I wish you all wellness and happiness. Please know that you are loved, too. The signs are closer than you think. Try to open all of your senses and welcome in the light. Looking forward to writing again to you soon.

With love and light,

LT