Three Little Monkeys

I’ve noticed as of late how disturbing and loud the negative voices have been made around me through social media, television and other news outlets. I’m shocked by the unkindness and anger being shown. The lack of respect being given for differences of opinions. The violence being taken in the name of one religion or another. It is a heavy overwhelming feeling.

As a video image popped upon my computer screen today of a man yelling at another and egged on by supporters as the insulted man hung his head at a loss, an image from childhood popped into my head: monkeys, three of them.

When I was a little girl, I loved visiting my nana and granddaddy’s home in Dumas, Arkansas. It had all kinds of nooks and crannies, rooms and levels for exploring and fascinating furniture and décor. It was so very different from my own home, I didn’t want to miss anything so I spent hours taking it all in. I walked in circles around the place, got on my hands and knees to look under things and climbed into boxes and furniture to get a better view. During one such roll about on the green shag carpet in my nana and granddaddy’s television room, I noticed a curious statue in between the levels of the heavy wooden octagon coffee table. It was a greenish brass color and depicted three monkeys in a row. One monkey had its hands over its ears, the next monkey had its hands over its eyes and the next monkey had its hands over its mouth.

Not daring to move the monkeys or to disturb my grandparents’ show, I stared at it intently. Days ticked by during my trip to Dumas, and I kept returning to this interesting little statue. One afternoon, while my granddaddy read the newspaper, I finally asked him about the little monkeys. He lowered his paper, cocked his head to the side and adjusted his glasses to get a better look and said, “Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil.” The sun was streaming through the windows that lined each wall of the room. The light next to my granddaddy lit both the paper and him up. My heart beat a little faster. He went back to reading.

As much as Advent is considered an anticipatory season of hope, it is also a time of penitence and reflection. As of late, I’ve found myself wishing my heart and mind were a little more centered. I’ve found myself a little uncomfortable with my own thoughts and wondering how or why I’ve said and done or not done certain things. I’ve been pondering all of this in my heart and considered what I can do to make a change.

I find myself wanting to remember the words of my grandfather and the wisdom of those three little monkeys. I don’t want to give power to evil by hearing, seeing or speaking it. I know I can do better and will feel better for it.

Hear No Evil

See No Evil

Speak No Evil

With love and light,

LT

Light Over Darkness

Just when you think times can’t get darker, in comes the season of light. When your mind has turned all night, the sun begins to rise. It’s another day. You don’t know what direction to turn and suddenly a kind word of wisdom points the way.

Today marked the first day of Advent leading to the celebration of Christmas. Candles were lit around the world encouraging thoughtful and prayerful opening of hearts and minds to the way that love can change the world. I can’t think of better timing!

I certainly could use Advent and its wonderful time for reflection and preparation and its powerful reminders of comfort and joy to be found in the story of a child born in a manger and his short time among us on Earth.

Jesus said, “There will be signs in the sun, the moon, and the stars, and on the earth distress among nations confused by the roaring of the sea and the waves. People will faint from fear and foreboding of what is coming upon the world, for the powers of the heavens will be shaken. Then they will see ‘the Son of Man coming in a cloud’ with power and great glory. Now when these things begin to take place, stand up and raise your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.”  (Luke 21:25-28)

What a lovely invitation continues to be extended to us year after year. We may have to wait for Christmas Day, but we never have to wait for its gift to us. We don’t have to wait for a special day, for a year, for an hour or even another minute. We just have to be willing to accept the invitation for a better life, a life of light.

“Almighty God, give us grace to cast away the works of darkness, and put on the armor of light, now in the time of this mortal life in which your Son Jesus Christ came to visit us in great humility...” (From A Collect for the First Sunday of Advent, Book of Common Prayer, pg. 211)

Take comfort in the fact that darkness, no matter how dark it may be, will never win against the light. Take it into your heart and feel its strength and share it with others. With light and love you can change your world and the world of others for better.  

As we enter Advent, I am reminded of the other wonderful celebrations of light from around the world, especially our Hindu friends who just celebrated Diwali. A wonderful five-day festival, Diwali celebrates the victory of good over evil, knowledge over ignorance and light over darkness. Our Jewish friends celebration of Hanukkah begins soon as well, reminding us that there will always be enough oil to light the sacred lamp.

We have everything we need, my friends. Take a look at what may be keeping you in the dark and do what you need to do to let the light show you the way. Listen to those loving words of kindness from friends and family. Find the support of community. Read, pray, meditate, exercise, rest. Take time for yourself and do more for others. Make room for the light; it will give you life.

With love and light,

LT

To Be An Individual

My life’s work has been dedicated to empowering the individual. I want to make the unseen seen. I want each person to feel celebrated for who they are. I want them to recognize the light within them and to share it.

Today I listened to a speech about how our society’s emphasis on the individual has led to our now lack of community. Excuse me, but I call, well…I disagree.

To be recognized as an individual does not mean to separate oneself from society; it means to be honored by it.

Let me ask you, if you were celebrated for your unique personality and gifts by those around you, if they enjoyed hearing your life story, the history of your family, your beliefs…if they supported you in your challenges while kindly encouraging you to consider different perspectives, would this make you want to separate yourself from others or might this make you feel more connected to them? I’m going to guess the later.

Being recognized for all that makes you an individual does not automatically separate you. In fact, being honored as an individual naturally builds respect and empathy towards others. Believe me, having finally been recognized for all my gifts and talents and the unique me has given me a greater connection with the world around me, and I witness this same freedom in the young people I serve everyday.

Give each other a chance. Ask someone his or her story, listen and then share yours. The stories will be different. Not a single human being on this planet is the same. Not one. So stop worrying. We don’t have to worry about being the same. That is not where comfort is to be found.

Our comfort is to be found in the love and respect we share towards one another. The more we shine light and celebrate our uniqueness, the closer we come to one another and to God’s hope for us.

To be sure, there have been individuals in our history and present that test this theory. Here is the key difference and what distinguished them: they were not empathizers. They sought to destroy other individuals. That is not the way. Look to history again and the present to find the real answer. Look to those who seek to build others up not to tear them down. By building each other up, we will build community.

I promise, there is plenty to find in common. Whether you have a shared story or not, there will be a way to connect. With an open heart it would be impossible not to.

With love and light,

LT

Bad Day, Sweet Dreams

I went to bed with a smile on my face, but people, let me tell you, it took some effort!

I love my job. It allows me to easily go to work with my children and even sneak a hug at lunchtime most days. Believe me; I don’t take this incredible blessing for granted.

There are sometimes I get stretched thin. I’ve always been a give-110% kind of person. I don’t half do anything, which can be exhausting. Trying to be 110% at work, 110% wife and 110% mom, plus the other 110%’s I try…those numbers don’t really add up. I keep trying until I can barely see straight.

If I’m being honest, because doing a good job at work makes me feel like I’m making a difference in the lives of others including the life I provide for my husband and children, it often dominates my thoughts. It must be done well and meet my expectations of excellence. This includes the encouragement and empowerment of the team that reports to me. If productivity is disrupted, it weighs on me heavily.

So suddenly, I don’t sleep at night. Free time seems non-existent.

I pray. I always pray. But there have been times as of late that my prayers have seemed hollow. I don’t seem to be connecting with the right prayers to open myself up to the assistance I know I need. Each morning, among other prayers, I thank God for another opportunity to try again and ask for help acknowledging that I cannot do it without God’s help. I pray this and trudge on not truly opening myself and clearing my mind and heart for true help.

Yesterday I had had it. It felt like every other hour was another slap in the face. By the end of the day I was done. I was frustrated. I missed the time I had given up with my family, but I was too angry with the stress of the day to be able to even give quality time to them, which added to the frustration. So, I grit my teeth and worked to be as good as I possibly could to the people around me. This of course was not anywhere close to 110% but at least I was functioning. Everyone ate, everyone got their baths, everyone did their homework, teeth were brushed and stories were even read. Good night kisses were given and suddenly the house was quiet. I jumped in the bath.

By the time I was dry and in pjs, I realized the whole house was quiet. Andrew had even hit the sack. I knew I wasn’t ready. I needed something; I needed the quiet.

I read.

I watched a movie.

I gave myself some time. Uninterrupted time.

Thank God!

There I was. In my house and ok. My sweet babies were asleep upstairs. I gently checked on them and kissed them a second goodnight. As I slid into bed so as not to wake up Andrew, I curled up and began to dream. A smile came to my lips. Never have I had such delicious memories tell stories one after another in my mind. If this is what meditation allows, oh dear God, I hope I can do it again.

I met Andrew. There we were at the Grove again. I knew everything would be ok. The sun was shining.

Sweet baby Abby. She’s wearing the pink argyle dress and meeting all of Nannie’s friends for the first time. She is asleep in Miss Kathy’s lap.

Oh, William, “What an Ice Guy” you are showing off those baby toes and grinning in the Christmas lights.

We’re walking on a bright fall morning. Pushing up the hill to the playground. Giggles abound, and we all ignore the static on the slide. Round and round we go.

The memories kept coming; these were only a few.

I can’t remember when I drifted to sleep, but I do know there was a smile on my face. It never stopped.

Dear God, I thank you for always leading me back. I know you realize I mean well and that I just don’t always get it right. Thank you for helping me find a way to make it all right again so I can be better for you and yours.

With love and light,

LT