Start Today!

I don’t want to wait anymore! I want to start today!

I’ve been in a holding pattern. Did my confidence go down? Did life over take me? I’m not sure, but I do know with all that I have been doing…I haven’t really been doing.

So, today I am going to start!

The light streamed through the windows alerting me today was the day. My angel dog pushed open the door, and it was time to go.

This idea has been on my heart and in my mind for quite some time. I’ve been going through the routine of life, but at some point I lost a sense of me along the way. My fulfillment meter got a little off.

I don’t remember why I stopped, but when I did stop I at least let myself be challenged to some recovery work. Thank God I cut down on the no’s enough to say yes to this: I started reading. Everyday. I read some reflections, but mostly I concentrated on starting one book and finishing it. Picking up another book and finishing it. Starting and finishing. Good practice and great inspiration.

The first of three books leading me to today was “A Circle of Quiet” by Madeleine L’Engle. Although written over forty years ago, it was as if she was sitting next to me talking. This time with Ms. L’Engle reminded me of my personal need for quiet contemplation and the beauty of creation balanced by action that leads to a sense of positive impact.

The second book, I picked up in a gift shop in Franklin, Tennessee and read cover to cover. The title: “Start Today.” Already deep in reflection mode, I looked up, laughed and said, “Ok,” with a smile.

The third book was “The Opposite of Loneliness: Essays and Stories” by Marina Keegan. The cover of a lovely young lady in a mustard yellow coat had grabbed my attention as I quickly walked through a bookstore last month with my daughter. As I scanned the reviews, I realized I was going to need to walk out of the store with this book in my possession. Once I realized the tragedy of Marina’s story, I almost got scared of it. I wasn’t sure where to place it and couldn’t bear to take it with me on my next road trip. Finally, I got over my fear and picked up her precious book lovingly compiled by her parents, Tracy and Kevin Keegan, and Yale professor Anne Fadiman.

With each essay, I was continually amazed. I found the creativity, structure and characters of each story compelling. I was wowed by Marina’s no-stop attitude, her “32 single-spaced pages of interesting stuff” in her life, the quality of her work produced between ages 18 and 22 and her absolute belief she would be a writer.

Although this book was published after her death, and perhaps these essays might not have been published otherwise, I have no doubt that ultimately Marina would have achieved her goal. Not necessarily because of sheer talent but because she had the right kind of attitude: I am going to start today!

So I got up today ready to start! Already I can feel my heart filing. Already I can feel my energy in a better place. I’ve sat quietly. I’ve enjoyed the beauty of the morning. I’ve written this reflection and now…here I go!

With love and light,

LT