I dragged myself into the shower and got ready.
The first part of the service was painful. Neither child was
cooperating. I threatened to leave several times. I was almost glad for the
excuse. Finally with a last warning given, I settled into the sermon. It was a
good lesson.
I took a time out at the announcements and went to the
bathroom, where I ran into a momma who has been there done that and always made
me feel better.
Prior to communion I prayed, “God, please help me to be the
person you need me to be. God, please help me to be the person you need me to
be. God, please help me to be the person you need me to be.” I prayed so hard,
my glasses fell to the floor and crashed obnoxiously in the last three beats of
the anthem. Of course, they did.
But the tide was turning.
We sang one of my favorite hymns as we waited to go to
communion. I rocked the alto line in hymn 304 (I come with joy). I thought to
myself, I do hope someone remembers to play this at my funeral some day and encourages all to harmonize. It’s the best!
Finally it was time to walk forward, Abby on my left and
William on my right. I was pleased that he humbly folded his hands, and I think
she was tickled that she got to kneel next to the baseball baptism window.
We turned around to walk toward the congregation and all had
changed. We were whole again. Effort worth it!
We walked to the votive candles, waited our turn, and each
lit one with a special prayer. Abby was glad to have lit the final candle in a
row. I was grateful to know that I had others to help me shine my light.
William kept his prayer to himself.
After communion, William said the closing prayer with me to
“give us strength and courage to love and serve with gladness,” and Abby and I
sang the last hymn together with smiles and gusto, “grant us wisdom, grant us
courage!” (Hymn 594)
With some quick kisses to the foreheads, they were off to
Sunday school before anyone noticed they were gone. Then God began answering my
prayer (perhaps He had even before).
“I had no idea that you wrote a blog,” remarked a pew buddy
of mind. “A friend said to me, you really need to like this page, and (my
buddy) said, ‘I know her.’ It was refreshing and just what I needed.”
Another church friend stopped me, really stopped me, and
asked, “How are you?”
Another said to me, “I couldn’t stop looking at the light
glinting from your sweater. It kept catching my eye.” I almost laughed thinking
of my prayer but smiled instead and said, “That’s a good thing.”
There were a few more reminders of love and light to come.
As we were driving home, I asked the children about their
Sunday school classes. William and his class had discussed St. Patrick and how
challenging certain paths can be. He was happy to have been there. Abby and her
class had considered why Jesus had to be baptized. She wasn’t sure of the
answer but was in good spirits.
I took advantage of the opening.
“You know, guys,” I said, “I realize no one really wanted to
go to church today, but I’m glad we did. The world can be a pretty tough place.
We can get worn out. We can feel down. We can feel alone. That’s why I’m glad
we went to church today.
“It sure did make us feel better this morning didn’t it?
“It’s a good rhythm.
“No matter what, you can always find your way back to
church. Mommy hopes that if we practice now, it will help you in the future.”
I’m not sure how many head nods I got from the back of the
car but at least the reminder was made.
Even for a gray day, we all made it home in a better place
than we had started. We were now refreshed and ready for whatever the world
sends our way and ready, with God’s help, to be who He needs us to be.
Sometimes all you have to do is get up and go. The rest is
already there just waiting to greet you.
With love and light,
LT
LT
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